Bad Forcast

As I am writing this my professor is explaining the fact that only about 80% of the students who take the NC Bar exam pass.  He is stating that you need to read and pay attention in class so that when you have that day of reckoning you will hopefully be able to pull the information out of your head.  Now he is talking about the joy or the devastation of finding out the results of the exam.  It is good to know that as long as I am willing to pay $800 I can take the exam as may times as I need to.  Right now, I am thinking if it took JFK Jr. three or four times to pass the NY Bar exam, as long as I can do it in that amount of time or better than I should be doing good.  I don't know what to make of this.  Should I be in fear of a test that I don't take for several years (yes, I am) or should I move to a land of denial and pretend I wont have to take the test for several years so I can delay worrying (trying).  I feel like the storm is brewing off the coast and I am standing on the shore just waiting for it to hit me, but is just out there growing stronger and taunting me.  I think it might be a wise idea to find another option that allows me to seek some cover.  I know if I get a joint degree I don't have to take and pass the bar exam, but I would still want to just to see if I could.  I mean why spend 4 years of my life giving up a social life, 3 nights of the week I am stuck in classes and then I have to find time after work to get the reading, assignments and studying, if I am not willing to at least try to become a lawyer?  That being decided, sadly, I must figure out what to do about that big scary test looming ahead.  The advice to study hard and review seems simple, but will no doubt be much harder to do when the time actually comes.  I'll keep my fingers crossed, buy a rabbit's foot and search for a four leaf clover before I have to take the bar exam, and take any other good luck charms/rituals that I can find between now and then.

good news/badnew

6 word story to sum up what just happened to me:
Good news, must take required deferral.

I was just informed that I could do the joint JD/MLS program, however I must deffer my enrollment in the MLS component because I am an evening law school student and that makes me still a 1L.  So why let me join the program?  This is so confusing!

Other than stress, what do you think of law school?

I have been asked this question at least weekly since I started law school one year ago.  After completing my first year of evening classes, I now have a finely tuned answer.  "No one ever said that law school was the best time of their life, and I will not be the first."  I am stressed and most nights pass-out due to exhaustion.  I have had panic attacks, stress so bad that it gave me high blood pressure and nose bleeds.  I don't know why I am still doing this.  Yes, there has been some great moments (or highlights of comedy) but overall this is something I cannot answer why I am still doing.  I started this, now I need to finish it.  Life in law school, evening classes, is miserable.  My friends have to point out when the last time they saw or spoke to me was - because time in law school seems to be something that goes too fast and to slow all at the same time.  You are sitting in class and the hour long class feels like it is really 3 hours and the hour you try to squeeze in some studying or reading flies by in the blink of an eye.  I have taken exams that made me feel like I have given birth, and was thankful to just get home safely before falling asleep.  I am on this path and will keep walking until I graduate but it is not fun and it feels as if I am climbing Everest or K2 without oxygen during a snowstorm.  I think I have now answered why so many lawyers and business exec. climb these mountains - after completing law school that looks like a day at the beach to most people.  I am writing this entry for two reasons, (1) I realized I haven't written one in weeks and (2) I am putting off reading for classes that start in two weeks.  That is right I am writing my final paper for my summer classes (required for evening students) and reading for Fall classes.  If you are reading this and are even remotely considering applying to law school, my advice is to think long and hard, realize that lawyers are in no great demand for jobs, we don't make the great money people think, and if you are like me and work full time while taking evening classes - you will not have a social life for 4 years (or you will be social only with classmates).  I am trying to squeeze the fun in (I have gone to some concerts this summer), but I have to plan it out months in advance.  I have attended NASCAR races, but I bring my casebook with me and read while the I can.  I am reviewing flashcards at work during lunch so that I have time to go to dinner with friends.  My life is a giant schedule and I feel like I don't have control over it.  My hope is that somehow my second year will be better than my first year and I will find more ways to enjoy life.