I have finished my first semester, it was actually on Monday 12/12/11 that I finished it, but my brain was too foggy to write about it. I have paid for next semester and I have not a clue on how I did on my finals. This first semester was exhausting, and after several panic attacks I feel like I am finally getting my head above water. I know it will not get any easier in the coming months and years, but for right now I will pretend to be an ostrich and stick my head in the sand and not acknowledge the hard reality that lies ahead. I am going to enjoy the few weeks I have off, before I have to start studying again and before classes start up again.
I am enjoying my classes, enjoying the people in my classes, and even enjoy how my professors interact with us in class and when we go to them for extra help. I do not think this was a mistake, but I still am not sure what I want to do with a law degree. I have worked hard these past few months and now I want to play and relax. I am sure that once the semester starts up again and when I get my grades back my stress level will rise like never before. My hope has changed to working hard to pass, and trying not to get put on anxiety medication in the process. I did make it through finals without a panic attack (huge progress from mid-terms), but it could have also been due to my physical and mental exhaustion.
I have started looking at summer programs and mediation programs, and I think being a mediator instead of a litigator sounds appealing to me. Now I need to start re-working my resume so that it can show how I would be qualified for that, I guess next semester I'll stop by Career Services to get advice from them. I have no clue what I will do over the summer, maybe pro bono so that I have experience and maybe that will help me figure out what direction I want to go.
I have said to others I work hard so that when I get a chance to play I can, I have worked hard these last few months and now I think I will relax and play during the holidays.
